Shrug off the other boys 'cause they don't compare.
Believe in that one boy even though he's not there.

Dug up a very old CD. One I made for a romance growing older by the day. Oi, I listened to this thing every night before I went to bed. And I remember telling myself, "This is..this is beautiful. A love like this can't be real..I don't ever want to lose this..ever." Aye, that was a mere 4 or 5 months ago, seems so far away. Even now as I think I'm growing up, and learning the ways of the world, I find myself more naive than ever. Knowing not of these things I feel or how to cope, how to go back. The little girl in me still wants to believe we can go back. But..but we can't. No, no this is how things are. To sleep to the sound of nothing, and to wake with memory of the emptiness of my dreams. In all of this void I can see happiness. I can even outstretch my fingers and practically feel it. But it is not in me, it is in the eyes of all my friends, and those of whom I love [who I couldn't make as happy.] Please let me believe that half a year of my life was not a charade, something worth throwing away.

Stupid. Stupid dwelling little girl. Stupid me. Stupid heart. Stupid memory. Stupid pills.