I have deleted an entry. I do not hate anyone that I have not had the chance to meet. That is obsurd. I do not even hate the other, who I have known for so long, I hate what he did. I hate the way he made me feel. I hate feeling jealous of something I know not of. I hate being clueless to what's going on, and furthermore I hate making myself pull away from the world because I am too hurt and scarred to look anyone in the eye right now and be decent with them. My body is restless with all this envy and hate and betrayed feelings inside of it, I shake at the very thought of you. A dream haunting me over and over. But I do not hate them. How immature would I be.
The fact of the matter is that I'm just a little teenage girl. I don't know how I feel. I just take 'em as they come and I realize that that's just not good enough for the world. But I will not try and change myself. Only time can change all of this, and I am willing to wait.

Oi. What a week. What a Christmas. I love all of my friends. Thank you for the advice and love you've given me. I don't know where I'd be right now without it, but probably not somewhere nice. Merry Christmas. Tell yourself "It could always get worse. If not, then it has to get better"