It was the first time I've seen you since the incident, I must say you've changed in this past month. Your eyes, they look so drowned, you look so exhausted and when you were sleeping, God, I wanted to make it better, because I know something was bothering you, you weren't yourself, did I know you as yourself? All these thoughts cascading through my mind and in an instant everything has and will change again so I know not what to feel. For a split second in my insanity I can almost pick up your scent, I can almost feel you breathing again. Then reality takes hold once again and I am left with these thoughts that I am happy now and that I did get what I wanted and just to give up on hopeless dreams and romances because nothing's the same when you've got it we just throw away.

So I leave you with this. You are in my mind and I care for you always, and I'm a fool for my thoughts and my actions. Pitty...

The Examination of Sarah Good

irony of the day: So, back when the Salem Witch Trials were occuring, everyone was claiming outragous sights of "witchcraft" and blaming them on so called "witches". They believed these "witches" were making deals with the devil so they could have the ability to perform MAGIC. As believable as that sounds, it was recently discovered that in the Salem area, there were crops found with this horrific mold growing on them. Something else was also discovered..it appears that there was a drug in the mold [the same drug found in ACID]. So they most likely weren't seeing witches and magical things...they were trippin'..

I'm on fire

Inhale. Forget the pain.
Exhale. Jealousy withers away.
Everything is "little" when we want it to be.
Say it just to downsize me.
The lackluster of a word
when it is like a record.
over and over and over you say..

Jane says: I've never been in love..
I don't know what it means..
I only know they waaant mee

Mmm. It's been an all-around terrific day. Plus I ate Chick-fil-A for lunch.

Nothing like winter. Wake up early, go to a set-destination, smokin' ciggarettes and talking about the impossible, livin' the impossible, friends are *new age hippies*, these are the days. Yes, these are the days.

I have this feeling of utter happiness, swallowing me up and I'm floating higher and higher. NoN-Induced High...

2 AM Scribbles..
There is nothing I find more beautiful than these dead hours. Soon before the sun will rise, early morning, but the stars have yet to stop shining. To my eyes, it is still dusk. All the peace, all the tranquility in the world that we have searched for all these years has been hidden in this paradise aglow forgoing dawn.

Lightning. This scene is now chaotic, full of storm and rain, ah, to my ears it is soothing and magnifiscent. A particular dream of mine: to be in love under this inclusive blanket of emptiness that makes us feel so absolute.

One day, let everyone witness this perfection.
Heaven is on earth when no one is watching...

No Missouri.
My dad is proud to be my dad because when I found out, I didn't say "YES" as expected, I asked if he was okay. He told me he loved me, it was a "character judging moment" as he said. Sometimes parents aren't cool and you think they just don't understand, like they just don't care..but at that very moment, I knew that my dad does care. And he just wants the best for me. [ although i'll never admit that to them. ]

*All her dreams are falling from the sky right in front of her eyes*

--I LovE yOU ToO ZAcH

Fucking Missouri. I'm NOT going. NO. I fucking refuse. GOD forbid I stay in one place for more than five fucking years.. I look around, all these people are childhood friends, they've grown up together, but I don't HAVE that because MY dad makes me move around all the country looking for more money. Money this, money that. Is MONEY really the answer? I mean I know we need to pay our bills for the house and cars and all, but can't we get a smaller house? do we have to have 9874359873 square feet? i dont WANT to start over. they're like "it'll be hard for Sam too" SAM is EIGHT YEARS OLD...the older you get the stronger bonds you make with people, it's not going to be hard for him, he'll play with anyone. but i already have my place in highschool, in society, in life and i don't want to have to start over..





I love all you guys, I swear to God I do..

black-haired flamingo dancer
[show me some of that spanish dancing]

hazy skies, all our lies
swollen eyes, broken cries
these lullabies,
as my heart dies
the asphault fries
say your goodbyes
no more tries
just watch the *moon rise*

------------------------------------------------

sedated is my mind. what a mellow feeling. nothing to criticize. nothing to be worked up about.
~I used to think I lived for this
NOW I can't be sure
I try to shake this lonliness
this pessimist
constant persist

Insist on...everything
I feel happy
and I'm all mixed up
WALK...crashing into you
breaking a w a y from me
from everything

(I lived in you for a moment)

An irresponsible kiss on the lips, that's what my mother would say
wondering life's reasoning
perhaps we're living in denial
days full of hallucinating
we've felt this way for a while...

..no motivation to write


i just wrote that so you'd all know you stole my motivation.